On Monday evening-the cloudy sky

I have trouble with days off. I tend to feel like the world is falling apart. My world, that is. My room is a disaster. I need to do laundry-didn't I just do it? I think I have poison oak. My roomie said, "I think you have that disease where you think you have a disease." I bought some soy chicken at the health food store. When I got home I saw it was moldy. I went to the bank to deposit some checks. And I couldn't find a pen to sign them. And the bank was closed. My friend invited me to drive to San Diego with her, but I slept in by accident so I missed her. It's just one of those days...I don't feel like doing anything. And I feel guilty for not doing anything. So then I start to pretend I'm doing stuff. I'm thinking of a million things I should be doing. And all in all, it's a day off. But I don't like days off. I don't think I'll really enjoy a day off until I am constantly working, which isn't happening yet.

Sorry this is a venting blog. Tomorrow is another day, at least.

I'll put this song on repeat for now and drink my coconut juice. And I'll think about some guy who isn't thinking about me. And I'll pretend he is. When he isn't. Because it's an actor's job to make things up. That's what we do best. Make up who we are, what we do, how we're feeling, and how someone else is feeling, and how it all makes sense, or doesn't make sense, depending on our mood.

I guess it's a curse and a blessing.

OK. I'll clean the bathroom, at least. That's a start. Right? Yes.

Some things on repeat in

WhimsiCali4nia

A song or something....

A beginning of a song or something...

I had a dream that you wanted love
But you didn't know what it was

So you saw me standing there
And you asked if you could touch my hair

I had a dream that I said OK
If you promised not to run away

And you said darling I will try
But baby all our dreams must die.