On Monday evening-the cloudy sky

I have trouble with days off. I tend to feel like the world is falling apart. My world, that is. My room is a disaster. I need to do laundry-didn't I just do it? I think I have poison oak. My roomie said, "I think you have that disease where you think you have a disease." I bought some soy chicken at the health food store. When I got home I saw it was moldy. I went to the bank to deposit some checks. And I couldn't find a pen to sign them. And the bank was closed. My friend invited me to drive to San Diego with her, but I slept in by accident so I missed her. It's just one of those days...I don't feel like doing anything. And I feel guilty for not doing anything. So then I start to pretend I'm doing stuff. I'm thinking of a million things I should be doing. And all in all, it's a day off. But I don't like days off. I don't think I'll really enjoy a day off until I am constantly working, which isn't happening yet.

Sorry this is a venting blog. Tomorrow is another day, at least.

I'll put this song on repeat for now and drink my coconut juice. And I'll think about some guy who isn't thinking about me. And I'll pretend he is. When he isn't. Because it's an actor's job to make things up. That's what we do best. Make up who we are, what we do, how we're feeling, and how someone else is feeling, and how it all makes sense, or doesn't make sense, depending on our mood.

I guess it's a curse and a blessing.

OK. I'll clean the bathroom, at least. That's a start. Right? Yes.

Some things on repeat in

WhimsiCali4nia

A song or something....

A beginning of a song or something...

I had a dream that you wanted love
But you didn't know what it was

So you saw me standing there
And you asked if you could touch my hair

I had a dream that I said OK
If you promised not to run away

And you said darling I will try
But baby all our dreams must die.

A poem by a friend

I am often inspired by the works of Edna St. Vincent Millay. She was such a fascinating poet. A woman who had many love affairs with both men and women. Known for the lines, "I burn my candles at both ends." I think she has a soul like mine.

On another note, I wanted to thank a friend for writing me a poem. I am often wishing men would write me songs. My ex boyfriend wrote me a song once which he gave me before we were together called, "Through the eyes of love we'll see this world again." And we did. Words have meaning.

This poem was written by a friend who seems to admire my work from afar. I really felt touched by this generous gift. Thank you, Corey Mesler! And he's a real poet too! Not just a "wannabe..." ;)

Love and gratitude. It's kind, thoughtful gestures like these which keep you moving forward....

Starring Erica Rhodes


I wrote a new poem.
It stars that ingénue,
Erica Rhodes.
She appears in line seventeen,
kicks things around,
and is gone by the end
of the third verse. Her beauty
threatens to throw the
whole poem off balance. Her
face the face the sky would
wear if the sky were to
wear a face. The poem limps
toward an inconclusive
conclusion. Its star is gone.
The rest of the cast
do their best. The poem re-
fuses to come alive like
Persona or anything by
Frank O’Hara or
Jacques Tati.
The poem loves Jacques Tati.
Its real death occurs near
the penultimate line.
Over its spooled shoulder,
the poem looks back at
Erica Rhodes,
a wanton, stilted enthrallment,
wanting to try again with her,
as its credits roll like a
frolic of architecture.

By Corey Mesler

Strange Things Will Happen

I like this song and video. And I believe in strange things happening...

Thanks be to David Gregory

I would not be in WhimsiCali4nia at all if David Gregory did not have such a profound influence on my life's journey.

Upon my completion of 'The Atlantic Theater Conservatory' I was immediately cast in David's film, 'Plague Town' (no ordinary feat, I might add). I remember the day well. I was having a leisurely lunch with an old friend from my high school and remarked "I better get to this audition..." And I invited her to join me. It was a cold read-some short paragraph where I was to talk to some child about something...and while rehearsing a few of the professors at Emerson came up to me and sort of 'shot the shit' with me. And I guess they found me entertaining enough to follow me into my audition, which was a bit odd. So I had a mini audience for this cold read. And I managed to be pretty much completely off book for the audition. I remember I was wearing a blue dress and my hair was short back then. Not sure how I came across. I remember having one goal and one goal only: to speak to the child as if he were a child. That was it. No real action-though an action is usually that of 'to teach' with a child. But just one goal. That, and to not look at the paper too much.

Anyway, a few days later I found out I had a callback. And I went in again. A different dress this time. And I forget what the reading was. But I must have done OK, because then I had a third callback. And then a fourth, and then I lost track. It was down to 4 girls total for 2 parts. And after our final callback the four of us were so stressed out and sick of hating each other, we decided to go out for drinks and forget about it all. So we got good and drunk and talked about how insane this casting process was and how we were going crazy...

I was sure the pretty girl was going to get it. Because, well she was sooooooo pretty. Later, David assured me that we were both pretty. But still, she was super duper pretty. And I just didn't think I measured up. But in the end, I got the part.

This meant two things: One-I got to star in my first ever feature film right after school. An indie film that already had distribution.

And Two: I made a new life-long best friend with my Director, David.

I'll save the actual filming for another blog. But all in all, one thing led to another. We shot the film. I realized how much I loved making movies. The whole process-even freezing my butt off in the woods in the middle of the night in CT was somehow the most glamorous thing ever. The fake blood. The family dynamic with the other actors. I realized I wanted to be a film actress (before I thought maybe theater). And right after filming I was invited out to LA by a "big shot" manager to audition for EVERYTHING. And I did. But I also met up with David and Kyle (our AD for 'Plague Town') and had a grand ol' time with them. We were all in a bit of a 'transition' time in our lives. And so we found comfort in our budding friendship. Drinking the night away, driving to Las Vegas, pulling all-nighters on Venice beach. Being deviant artists that we were. And oops. I bombed my auditions in the process. (Yes, the hard-knock lessons we learn along the way). But you know what, that was how it was meant to be, I believe. I thought I could "get away with it" relying on my talent,etc. But guess what. I couldn't. And now I know that.

The manager dropped me. I sobbed on the phone to David. I swore I would never let that happen again. And I moved to LA anyway.

And David has been there for me through it all. And I mean IT ALL. He is one of the few friends I can call literally at any time. And he will answer the phone and say all the right things. And he has believed in me since day 1.

Now we have a wonderful tradition every year of writing out the BEST/WORST of this year, and our goals for the next year. And David keeps our lists to review for the next year. This year, David accomplished pretty much all of his goals. And I accomplished 3 of my 5.

We're doing good. We aren't so wild anymore. Well, I'm not anymore (won't speak for David). But we still have many highs and lows. And I would definitely not have lasted this long in WhimsiCali4nia without him. My dream is to make the next film we want to make together. I really want to do that. DAVID ARE YOU LISTENING?!!! We forgot to put that on the list!!!

Couldn't do it without you in...

WhimsiCali4nia

Dead Ends

Got my hair done today. Got rid of the dead ends.

Feels fresh, clean, and blonde.

I found my hair lady from a Casting Director who was very impressed with my audition but thought my hair could be "doing more" for me. So now I go to this Casting Director's hair person.

Hair is very important in Hollywood. People talk about hair more than politics, love, religion, and the meaning of life.

I was seeing a guy once who gave me hair tips. "You gotta use this conditioner, OMG...it totally gets rid of the frizz..."

Cut off the dead ends in...

WhimsiCali4nia

Cigarettes to Facebook, NYC to LA.

I'm so thrilled that my dear friend, Lizzy Eggers has moved to LA.

We met in acting school. The first day of class we were immediately best friends and have been best friends ever since. I think it's funny how sometimes "Love at first sight" happens with girl friends too.

I forced her to join SAG right when she moved to LA a month ago. And now she is forcing me to attend all of the SAG events, which I would probably not go to alone. Thanks Liz. Tonight we saw Nicole Kidman speak about 'ACTING...' and I was utterly depressed through the whole thing about how I'm...NOT Nicole Kidman...until I received a surprise text from my director of the indie film, "Javatown' I starred in, Karyn Ben Singer, randomly telling me I'm 'SO the bomb' and that I'm destined for great things.' And somehow that made Nicole Kidman just look a little bit older...and fatter...even though she's not fat at all, but you get the point. I'm sure she has a flaw if you look through a microscope. There's gotta be a freckle on her neck or something...anyway...

Liz was also the friend I attribute to helping me quit smoking when I went through a minor 'romantic smoking cigarettes out on my fire escape in Manhattan while listening to the song 'Save Me' and pining after a boy who went to Columbia and who I'd see in between his many important math and physics classes'...PHASE.

I told her one day that I really wanted to quit. And she said, "Well you can. You TOTALLY can. Just do it. You totally can just stop." And the next day I did. Forever. "Unless it's for a role," in the words of Nicole Kidman, "then I smoke."

Tonight, Liz and I spoke about facebook and how I'm addicted to that, as well. That I use it for work, but then get caught on it for other things and end up wasting time,etc. And she also said I can cut down on that too. She believes in me. And I in her.

I'll talk about the contract we wrote up together back in NYC at another time... we have an important agreement we made together. To be continued...

I have the greatest friends in...

WhimsiCali4nia

Get Lost

Sometimes I want to get lost in my sweater
And come out when the world makes sense again.

People are too confusing.
They want something I can't give.
Or they can't give what I want.

My sweater can give me all I need and want.
Warmth and comfort and if it itches I can take it off and put on a tank top or a t-shirt.

Peace and quiet here in...

WhimsiCali4nia

Friends

I want to give a little attention today to two of my best friends here in LA:
Angel and Mindy. (Myrah, don't be jealous...I love you too...)

Mindy and I met working on the show, 'House.' We took one look at each other and became instant BFFs...well, she had to stalk me for a bit. But I eventually caved. She came up to me on set and said, "We're kinda similar," which I was thinking, but was worried I was flattering myself. She was so cute. We were both wearing cowboy boots, of course. Then we found out her Bday is my half Birthday. And we realized we kind of looked a bit alike...now we go out and people think we're twins.

Angel came later. She appeared on the scene by Mindy's side at an audition Mindy and I both had (since we're the same 'type' we go out for the same roles a lot). And Mindy and I both felt we had bombed it. And Angel had just come from Italy and landed at Mindy's doorstep (fate, I'm sure). And though quite a bit younger, Angel was immediately scolding Mindy and me for being too hard on ourselves, and telling us we were so beautiful, etc. etc. I was like, "WHO IS THIS CRAZY ITALIAN GIRL?! AND WHY DO I ALREADY LOVE HER?!" And ever since, we are incredibly close. And I call her my 'guardian Angel,' simply because that's what she is!

Anyway, they have been going through a lot these past months. Angel moved from Italy, Mindy has moved maybe 3 times and has gone through about 10 different jobs. (They are both actresses). But they are making it happen, and they are brave, and passionate spirits who lift me up with their positive energy.

I so love our coffee morning/beach walk days. We all go through our latest 'dramas.' We laugh. We embrace the absurdity of it all.

P.S. If anyone wants to adopt them, please do. You won't regret it. They come as a package. And they cook and clean. Etc...lol...they keep finding themselves living with crazy ladies who try to hypnotize them. It concerns me, slightly.

Friends keep you going in...

WhimsiCali4nia

Top 10 signs that you might be an artist....

Top Ten Signs that you might be an Artist (any kind) which also means you probably need some kind of help:

1) You see that you have, in the past, set your alarm for just about every hour of the day.

2) You never make plans.

3) You fall in love at least once (a day). Animals included, depending on what kind of artist you are. Animals don't count if you are a musician-don't ask why...

4) You can't find your keys...ever.

5) You are creative about your socks (examples included are: mismatching, creative patterns, going sock-less with boots, toe socks,etc.)

6) You have broken or are breaking the law. This can by minor or major. Some law HAS or WILL BE broken.

7) You are hopelessly addicted to something (examples included are: Drugs, alcohol, sex, tea, chocolate, facebook (*cough*cough*), staring at yourself in the mirror, working out, yoga, herbal supplements, shopping, setting things on fire,etc. (No I am not saying I set things on fire, but maybe you do. I don't KNOW you.)

8) You LOVE the rain.

9) You stay up til 3 a.m. on a regular basis.

10) You have NO idea what day it is.

*Bonus*

11) You use words to describe yourself such as 'tortured' 'misunderstood' and/or 'deep.'

*DOUBLE BONUS*

12) You make up the rules as you go, so if you suddenly decide to have two bonuses, you can. It's your list and you get to decide.

The Book of Life

The Book of Life

I fear we are not on the same page of
The book of life.

I am where you ask,
"Can I touch your hair?"

And you are where you say,
"Not in this lifetime, my dear."

Time moves on in...

WhimsiCali4nia

We're just Visitors

I've decided to start a 'Wall O' Sony' for every pass I get into the studio. Though, there are many more, I swear. I just lost them. Sony seems to be my most visited lot, which is awesome, because it's the closest to me.

Anyway, had a 'general' today. But before my general I met Shane Dawson's manager, who was a beautiful lady sipping an iced green tea latte from Coffee Bean. And I said, "That looks good." And seeing as she was so beautiful, I figured she was an actress, but instead found out her client, Shane was pitching a TV show. And she was a manager. She told me her Mother was in the hospital, so she hasn't been able to sleep, and figured coffee would just make her jittery, but this was her second green tea latte of the day. Funny how much information people will volunteer after you make a statement like, "That looks good." I enjoyed our chat though. And I felt that she looked exactly the way I hope to look in my 50s, and carry myself,etc. There was just something very classy about her.

I realize that this is how interactions OUGHT to be. Spontaneous, surprising, discovering new things by the second.

Just like my interaction in Trader Joe's today with a nice older man who came up to me in the nuts section (please no puns) and said, "Excuse me, I just have to say you're so cute." And I said, "Awww, why thank you." And then the conversation got whacky and he told me about his friend who is '6' 1" and very handsome but keeps falling for terrible Persian women. And he doesn't know WHAT this guy has about Persians,etc. etc. And where am I from. Sweden? That I should meet him. That he wished 'Carl' were there now...that Carl and I should go out for dinner...to the Cheesecake Factory of course... And "You're so sweet. Not like these other typical LA girls..." And it was a strange, funny little conversation, which I enjoyed.

I don't so much enjoy the "This is a ________" occasion. "This is a 'meeting'" "This is an 'audition'" "This is a 'Date'" Because isn't discovering WHAT it is the whole point?! Because half the time the audition happens in the elevator; the meeting happens in the bar, the strange encounter with the man of your dreams happens in the grocery store (well not this time, but you get the idea...)

And in some ways that's what acting is all about. This is a scene about........

You choose in...

WhimsiCali4nia

Top 10 ways to know you're not famous YET

1) You get an audition for the next Cameron Crowe movie, but find out it's to play a 35 yr old Mother role. Turns out your agent confused you with another girl by the last name: ROSE

2) You have a callback for a music video. The casting director doesn't remember you and reintroduces himself. Maybe it was a mistake-callback?

3) A fellow 'up and coming' actor gives you career advice to 'get drunk more.' You listen.

4) You have no idea how to turn on your heat, so you start taking two hot showers a day to stay warm.

5) The only person who asked for your autograph today was the cashier at the grocery store.

6) You have worn the same pair of jeans at least 3 days in a row.

7) You 'will work for food.'

8) Your phone was turned off for the 3rd time this year.

9) You think about following your Mother's advice to wash your face with sugar and put toothpaste on your break-outs so you don't have to buy face wash. Instead you listen to your yogi friend and just put tea tree oil all over your face.

10) You know you should go running to get in shape, but instead you write this. Or you do both. You haven't decided yet. Go running, you lazy dork!

*Bonus*
11) You wear really, REALLY big sunglasses to try and LOOK famous-ER

Laughing out Loud in...

WhimsiCali4nia

The MoCCA

Went to the MoCCA today in character.

These were my character's favorite paintings.

They speak for themselves. I like things that speak for themselves.

I've never painted in my life. But my character does.

So we have to learn...

Studying lines for my shoot tomorrow, 'cause I'm a working actress and all.

Hope everyone's recovered from the day of too much food and sleep. Holidays are not for me. I'm a loner/workaholic. I enjoy life most when I'm working.

Back to work in...

WhimsiCali4nia

A Thanksgiving Poem

I am thankful for the house my parents bought with the yellow shutters.

The screened in porch. The backyard.

My Mother's violin playing echoing through the walls up the stairs to my morning glory-decorated wallpapered bedroom.

The basement with the secret hiding places and later a ping-pong table.

The den with my father's 'blue chair' he sat in drinking his coffee and reading the Sunday paper.

My sister's bed she let me climb into when I was scared of sleeping alone.

The piano.

The love my parents gave me. The lessons my sister taught me. The boredom I experienced as a teenager anxious to learn about the world. The world outside of the house with the yellow shutters and the screened in porch and the violin playing. The piano.

I am thankful for the front door. And the opening of it. The walking outside into the fresh New England air. On my own. Walking out and seeing who I might become.

I am thankful for my becoming. An adult. A woman. An Explorer.

I am thankful for the oceans. The Atlantic and the Pacific. And the fact that I have dipped my feet in both and laughed in the midst of both.

And the violin playing in the back of my head with the love of my parents in my heart and in my toes.

The salt water cleaning the bottoms of my feet.

I am thankful.

Thanks, Dad

I was thinking about Thanksgiving...since it's tomorrow and everything. And I was thinking about how someone just told me that my blog was a bit 'woe-is-me-ish' and I can see his point. I have a lot to be grateful for. And I am. I was thinking about all of those things: all of the wonderful people in my life, all that is actually going for me, how far I've come, all of the things that HAVE worked out in my life. And I do feel very, very grateful. I have my health. I have a roof over my head and all. I have a good family-far away and scattered as they are. We love each other. And they are very supportive.

I thought about my Grandfather who passed away this year, who was always grateful for everything in nature and for his family, and for all the little day to day things. He was a living example of gratitude. I could feel how grateful he was to have me at his bedside in his last days. And I am so grateful I was there to share with him his last moments. I am grateful to have known him, to have been blessed with hundreds of his hugs, his glowing smile.

And then I thought about MY Dad, and how grateful I am for him. And I found this picture and it made me smile to see how grateful little Erica was for him too.




Fighting a disease as long as I've 'known' him (Multiple Sclerosis, or as I called it as a kid, 'Multiple Ferocious'), he never brought it up, still never brings it up. He's gone from walking to walking with crutches, to leaning on my ten-yr.-old head for support, to being in a wheelchair, to not being able to transfer from wheelchair to chair, to moving downstairs, etc. No complaining, no woe-is-me-ing coming from him. Always cracking jokes about being a 'good for nothing crip.' Making light of hospital visits,etc. He is someone who is grateful for his family, music, whatever god-awful thing my Mom tries to cook him, for my Mom "Look how lucky I am to have ended up with such a pretty lady," for books, scrabble, chess, movies, etc.

He's not the typical Dad. He never put me on top of his shoulders, or spun me around, or kicked around a soccer ball with me. But he taught me to say, "We're just a couple-a-coool cats....(*snap*) yeeeaaaah...." making me practice it over and over until I got his approval. He taught me how to play chess and never belittled me enough to let me beat him (still haven't), he taught me that "Boys are bad" (I should have listened...), and he most of all, taught me to laugh at myself, laugh at life, laugh at any situation.



He's also given me the freedom to be myself, to do what I want with my life.

I remember when I was about 6 I said, "I am going to stay up ALL night." And he said, "OK." And I said, "Reeaaaallly?!" And he said, "Sure." And I fell asleep on the floor by his feet.

When I was about ten, it was snowing in Boston (at least 6 inches of snow) and I refused to put on my boots, because I thought they were ugly and he said, "OK...then go barefoot." And I said, "FINE. I WILL." And he said, "OK then." And I walked home in 6 inches of snow completely barefoot. Ouch.

When I was 18 I told my parents I was going to drop out of Boston University and move to NYC with my boyfriend at the time. And my Dad told my Mom to let me. 3 years later I said I was going to LA and my Dad said, "Sounds like a good idea."

Thanks Dad for letting me do what I want.

Happy Thanksgiving in...

WhimsiCali4nia

WimpsiCali4nia

Today I feel like a wimp.

Sometimes I feel like a big shot-all cool and tough, capable of taking on the world.
Not today. Today I feel like a plain old good-for-nothing wimp.

I felt really cool in the morning. I had to go to court to settle a ticket issue. And because I'm such an 'actress' my director had to call me to make me get up in the morning and 'deal with it,' which I wouldn't have done without his 'direction.'

I went in expecting to pay $500. And instead they let me off with a court date (will someone please remind me-it's in July) and a $10 to get my license taken off hold.

I left feeling pretty darn good about myself, like I had gotten away with robbing a bank. I even made friends with an adorable couple who loved me because I was an example of someone 'EVEN WORSE' than the wife at dealing with responsibilities. Hey, it's not always a bad thing to be incompetent, as long as you can laugh at yourself about it. People love when you can make a big joke of yourself. Trust me.

Anyway, I left the court house well before noon, glowing with pride. And as I pulled out of my parking spot...@#$!@#%CRASH!!!!Q#W%#@$%@#$% I banged into one of those darn poles they use to separate the parking spots and to ruin my day.

With my tail between my legs, I drove to my mechanic. Again, not a HUGE deal. But definitely not a stellar moment. They are ordering new lights for me, but who knows how much that will cost to replace....still no real harm done, thanks to my luck. Actually, I do think about how lucky I am every day to just be alive with all limbs in tact (knock hard on wood). I moved to LA without ever having driven further than my high school in MA. I never drove in NYC. And my Mom never really encouraged me to drive in Boston. So, I barely knew how to make a left turn. I used to call my friend at intersections, when I first got here, to verify whether or not I had the right of way. And if I accidentally ended up on the highway all hell broke loose and I would basically have a nervous breakdown until I found my way off of it. So, I have come a long way...but still...

Anyway, I managed to make it to my rehearsal for the experimental film I am working on, which I really am enjoying. But the character I am delving into is a real dark, brooding, psycho. And it's not an easy place to go to. Usually takes some time to break out of afterwards. But I do enjoy playing her. But she pushes me to the dark corners of my mind...not always a good thing.

Then I saw a short film I worked on a year ago, and I was ready to pack my bags, shave my head, and move to a mountain somewhere...yes I can be extreme. No offense to anyone involved, because I am speaking strictly about myself. Watching myself made me feel sick to my stomach. I literally felt like my face is deformed. I am old, ugly, fat, and overrall disgusting to look at, and have no business pursuing anything where my face will be visible to anyone at all. OK...this may sound dramatic. And now is where all my friends/family tell me how beautiful I am and how I'm crazy, etc. etc. But the problem here is not whether or not I am ugly or whether or not I know what I look like or not. The problem is how much IMPORTANCE I am placing on it. Rather than thinking, "OK, so I didn't look great, but so what," I literally think, "Who am I fooling? Who would want to look at me?! How will I ever get cast looking like THAT?!" I realize these thoughts are skewed, superficial,self-sabotaging, and self-absorbed, and yet I can't help/change them.

This business is very much about the way you look. Even if you are hoping to be cast as the 'nerdy, librarian' you go into a room full of gorgeous, perfectly presentable, young girls. Maybe they have fake glasses on. But besides that, they are perfectly manicured, ironed, polished, etc.

Giving up the idea of a 'day job' and stubbornly living off of the acting alone, I have no money in my budget left for primping and polishing. I am lucky if I can find a clean pair of underwear these days.

I had three auditions yesterday and not a single callback. And I felt good about two of them. They gave me direction, spent time with me. One director said, "You obviously have the acting chops." Another Casting director said, "I remember auditioning you a year ago and I think you're ADORABLE." And she had me read for both parts saying I took the direction very well. But nothing. I start wondering what's wrong with me. Is it my hair? My stomach? My skin? I have the acting chops, so it must be the other factor-THE WAY I LOOK. Which is never good enough and never will be good enough.

I am a strong person. But this is a hard path. And people don't realize how many factors are really involved when they say it will be hard. And it's not just a day or a month...I am starting to realize it is years of challenges. Year after year. And that is why so many people can't take it.

My only problem is when I think about quitting I literally can't even imagine what else I would do. I can't see turning back. I've always been stubborn. I don't give up easily. Hence why I was seeing a sociopath for almost 2 years when I first moved here. (Another, way too long story...)

I guess the point is...I can't quit, because I don't really believe in it. And there must be something I love in all of this more than looking in the mirror and admiring my beautiful jaw line. I think I have something to give besides all that. And I guess that's why I'll show up to an audition in old jeans and a t-shirt with a car that is barely still moving, with a license that's on hold. And I will risk being criticized and even arrested, because there's something I love more than all that. What it is...I'm not sure. But it's there somewhere.

Gotta go digging.

Sweet dreams in

WhimsiCali4nia

Mike Leigh Hookie

So I had rehearsal today for the experimental film I've been working on with Marco Capalbo. And I arrived at his house a bit scattered, dealing with my car issues, and my run ins with 'the law.' And Marco questioned whether I was in a place to 'be Liz' today. (My character I have been developing for almost a year now). The rest is *hush*hush*...

And so Marco thought perhaps it would be a good day-due to weather and my state of mind for all of us, me, the other actor, Eric, and Marco to play hookie today. He made us a pot of tea, and thought we should 'think about it'...

This is what happens when 3 rebel/anarchists work together on making a film. And rebels we three definitely are.

We sat, mauled it over for a bit. Sipped some tea. Well, Eric doesn't drink tea. But Marco and I drink heavily (tea, that is). And Marco decided that we should determine whether to work or play hookie based on our 'I-Ching' reading. So he pulled out the sticks and proceeded to do our reading. Well, the result had something to do with 'Not going outside the door.' So we took that has a pretty obvious sign to stay in and watch movies. Marco cut up some pears and cheese for us. We got cozy on the couch, with blankets, tea, etc. And we settled in for a Mike Leigh film: 'Secrets and Lies' which I had never seen, but is absolutely fantastic.

Afterwards we had dinner and discussed Hollywood. The constant debate about business vs. art. And how to stay inspired while making a living. A constant battle, no doubt.

This film has been one of the most exciting projects I've worked on ever. Mostly because I never know what to expect. Will I be going on a wild adventure in character that day, or will I be watching a Mike Leigh film over tea and pears.

And this is what we love about the theater and life. The unexpected. And if we as actors don't know what we are going to do next, how equally exciting for our audience. For all we know, Marco was taping the whole thing...that's how 'in the dark' he is keeping his actors. And I love it. Without the dark, I can't strive to find the light.

Sweet dreams in...

WhimsiCali4nia

Randy Rhodes' daughter

I went to the LA music awards tonight, and my friend who invited me thought it would be best if he introduced me as Erica Rhodes, 'Randy Rhodes' daughter.'

I met the drummer from Black Sabbath, and he seemed really impressed and said in a rather touching way, "I knew your dad...yeah...we used to play together...wow...that's cool..." I smiled and acted genuinely touched by this. Though I thought it would have been funny if I had said, "Really? I didn't!"

Anyway, red carpet events are bizarre. You can pretty much say you're anyone and with anyone and wearing anyone and doing anything you want. No one really cares, becuase they're more caught up in what you think of THEM, anyway. So the whole thing is a bit of a hoax.

It's all just make believe...

Sweet dreams in...

WhimsiCali4nia

I used to rule the world....

I remember taking these pictures, because I had just met a friend's little sister. And she had an overbite. And I decided that having an overbite was the coolest, cutest thing a girl could possibly have. So there is a whole set of pictures my Mom took of me with a projected overbite. Obviously we can tell the era and that I was especially "cool" for my age.

It appears I had it all going on. I even knew how to apply lipstick, apparently.

We can all take lessons from our younger selves. All I have to do is look at these pictures to remember how incredibly awesome I actually used to be...

Why not stay that way?

Sweet Dreams in...

WhimsiCali4nia